Leah: Part I

I've posted a little about Leah before, but I haven't formally introduced her to you yet. Meet Leah - my crazy, spunky, high-energy, Hindi-speaking 10 year old.

All of my girls have a unique and heartbreaking story of abandonment, and I'm sure there is more to each of my girls' stories that I'll never hear. My other six have been at SCH for a few years, but Leah has a different story. She was found at a train station a little over two months ago. The police brought her to the nearest orphanage where she was labeled as "mentally unsound" within a week. I was reading her file, I discovered that the only reason she was labeled as such was because she couldn't tell the anyone her name or age. Leah only speaks Hindi so at the time, she might not have understood the question she was being asked. Or she could have been absolutely terrified to tell these strangers anything about herself. Whatever the reason may be, this resulted in Leah being transferred to SCH.

I am so thankful she is here instead of at some other orphanage. I am so thankful she is in my home instead of a home without a foster mom. Leah desperately needs someone who will love her unconditionally, invest in her, and advocate for her. And I am so thankful that God placed me here to be that person.

Leah has more energy than any kid I have ever met. Asking her to sit still is almost a worthless cause.   When she becomes happy or excited, she always defies gravity and somehow manages to jump up and down with her body twisted into some upside down position. Notice how in this picture all the other kids are sitting and laughing while Leah's doing a head stand! Other times she will lay her hands and feet flat on the floor and hop around like a frog. 

Leah usually plays well with her sisters and other friends here at SCH. She isn't enrolled in school right now, but she goes to an on sight Special Education program held here. In the mornings she has classes taught by the Rippees, a family of missionaries living and fostering at SCH. They have a few blogs about Leah which you can read here. In the afternoons she is taught by an Indian special education teacher. She can sign most of her English ABCs and is learning a lot about how to behave in a classroom setting. 

Leah is extremely smart and aware of her surroundings. She came to SCH understanding little to no Telugu or English. She is now understanding most of what we speak to her in both languages! She hasn't learned to speak much yet, but that may be partially due to a speech problem. I highly suspect that Leah has a speech impediment, but it is so hard to know for sure since close to no one in Ongole speaks her language. She has learned to say one English word though! A few days ago she began calling me "Mummy!" 

Leah and I went to the beach with the Rippees and a couple of their girls last week. It was such a wonderful day as I got to know my girl better and spend a whole day just with her. We had a blast running head first into the waves of the Bay of Bengal and getting knocked over by the tides. Leah laughed joyfully as waves knocked us over and left us lying in the sand. She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist trusting that I wasn't going to let her go. That day I got to see the girl who lives deep inside Leah's heart, a joyful, silly ten year old who strives to be accepted and live adventurously. 

Leah is like a fully loaded cannon ready to explode. Sometimes she explodes with joy and laughter; other times she explodes with anger and violence. My heart aches for her as I watch this inner struggle that goes on in her head. When I first arrived in India, Leah definitely had some behavior problems and she would sometimes hit her sisters, but it was usually fun and games to her. She never seemed to hit when she was angry or upset. As time went on her behaviors began to escalate. 

At first things weren't too bad. Leah would become angry if I left the apartment with another girl for some one on one time. Leah demonstrates several attention seeking behaviors so this wasn't too far out of the ordinary. A few days later she started losing her temper whenever things didn't go her way. She started throwing fits where she sprawls out on the floor thrashing around and screams mostly unintelligible sounds that are obviously filled with anger. I've had a really tough time finding ways to calm her down in these situations without sticking her in time out. 

Over the past week and a half things got worse. Leah's behaviors escalated to new heights that were far out of my control. Leah started becoming violent when something went wrong. Then she started becoming violent without any trigger that I could see. She had a really bad night a few days ago that left me aching for her and worrying for my other girls. I knew having her around was becoming unhealthy and dangerous for them. After all my girls were asleep, I sat on the floor beside Leah's bed crying and begging the Lord for guidance. I had absolutely no idea what to do for this girl. She carries so much anger, pain, and fear that is far deeper than anything I could probably ever imagine. I wept for her as I imagined what could be going on in her head. I wondered if she regretted her actions and how that would affect her in the future. I wondered if she would even remember this night in the morning. I wondered if she wanted to do these things or if she just lost control. 

As I sat by her bed and watched her sleep I saw an innocent little girl that deserves a much better life than the one she's been living. I saw a girl who desperately needs freedom and life in Jesus. I prayed with a few other volunteers that night for Leah. We each lifted her up to the Lord asking for healing and wisdom to be bestowed on this entire situation. We prayed for God to give me wisdom on how to best be her mom and advocate. We prayed that her behaviors would not negatively impact any of my other girls. We prayed and prayed for Leah, asking that the Lord would bring her a life free of anger and full of joy. 

After a lot of prayer and talking with some others here at SCH, I decided Leah needed help sooner rather than later. Leah and I are leaving for Hyderabad tomorrow night. We will spend several days at the SCH home there attending doctors appointments every day. I have appointments scheduled for her with a behavior specialist beginning on Wednesday afternoon. We are also going to see a psychiatrist and a speech therapist. I am hoping that this trip will bring us some insight and answers to Leah's behaviors. I am hoping that she is receptive to all of our doctor's visits and that this is the beginning of a new path of healing for her. 

I titled this post Leah: Part I because I believe her journey isn't over. She is so much more than the lost, confused, and frustrated kid we've seen thus far. I am confident that there is a life filled with redemption, joy, and abundance awaiting her. This isn't over yet. I will stand by her through it all advocating for her, loving her, and investing in her life. God has something amazing waiting for Leah. He will bring her freedom to run head first into the waves of His grace.