My girls (as well as the other children at SCH) are mostly all orphans due to their disabilities. Most Hindus believe in reincarnation. With that belief, they believe that if someone is born with a disability, they are being punished for something in a former life. It is also believed by some that having a child with a disability is bad karma and a punishment to the parents. Because so many Indians share these beliefs, a lot of children with disabilities are abandoned from birth or a young age.
That sounds absolutely terrible and dreadful, right? It makes you angry that someone would literally throw their own child away or leave them for dead because of their disability. Well it should. It is in no way right, but there is a lot more that goes into abandonment than just religion. I want you to understand what goes through some of these people's heads. Anger is a healthy feeling to have in response to this, but I'm not sure that being angry at the parents is right. Our anger should be directed towards the lack of education, the poverty, and the deeply ingrained culture values that stem from old wives tales and beliefs that are not true.
Can you imagine living in a tent made of roughly sewn together bed sheets and tarps? That is how a huge population of India lives. The "untouchables" are people living in the lowest caste in India. They are often disabled, beggars, and living on next to nothing. In most places in India there is little to no social mobility. Can you imagine living that type of life with no hope of change? Poverty is already such a vicious cycle and almost impossible to escape from. But here there simply isn't an option. You're poor and that is just the way it is. You can't get into a good school (even if you somehow found the money to pay). You can't hold a simple job. These people simply do not have options. Now imagine having a child with a disability. How are you possibly going to care for them? You don't have the money to get them medical care or specialized education. You don't even have the money to feed them. Sometimes it seems like the only choice is abandonment.
Now imagine being a 17-24 year old girl awaiting marriage. You have no say in the matter, as your parents are picking your husband. They decide to pick someone they know and trust from your village. He also happens to be your second cousin. This happens far to often in Indian culture, especially in villages where ancient religion trumps modern education. Most girls have no say in who they marry, and even if they did, would they know not to marry family members? Would they know that the likelihood of having a child with a birth defect, deformity, or disability is alarmingly high? Probably not. Would they even know a single negative effect or risk of marrying a family member? Unfortunately, most people probably have no idea.
One more scenario: imagine having a child with a disability and loving them with everything you had. You look at your child and see that they are perfect. Your child is everything you have ever dreamed of and more. But then you remember that if people in your village find out about your son/daughter, they will shun you. More than likely you will lose your job. You might not be allowed back in your temple. Your other children could be denied education. You look down at your child and realize that they might mean a life living on the streets or in the slums, struggling to obtain food and water. Then you realize that in this culture, the only thing you feel like you can do is abandon them. Hopefully they will be found by someone who can give them the resources they need and you can continue to provide for your family. Imagine the heartbreak and loss in that scenario.
These are some of the reasons kids are abandoned here. And trust me, there are many more. It is a messed up and lost system. A system in desperate need of better education and resources. It is heartbreaking, awful, and sad.
If we ever want to end the orphan epidemic, we cannot solely focus on adoption. Yes, adoption is critically needed. There are over 142 million orphans worldwide. Every single one of those kids needs a family. They by no means all need to be adopted to America or another developed country. Many of them living in other countries would benefit most from being adopted by families in their own country. But if adoption is our sole focus, are we really looking to the root of the problem? Kids will continue to be abandoned. The world is in desperate need of education and resources to aid families. People need support in raising children. If they feel that they cannot care for a child, they need resources to do so. People need to know that help and support is not only out there, but attainable. People need to be educated on how to raise multiple children, children with disabilities, or critical illnesses. They need to be educated on the effects of gendercide, and the value and equality of women. They need to know that every child is worthy of life despite gender, medical condition, ability, or social class.
In order for change to be brought about in the orphan epidemic, people all over the world need to be educated. There needs to be resources in place to aid families who feel like abandonment is the only option. We as well off citizens of our developed and educated countries have to speak up for these people. We need to bring awareness to the root of this epidemic. We need to unite together with a vision and fire to end the abandonment of children. We need to help these families.
Join with me in spreading awareness and understanding of why children are abandoned in other cultures. Help me campaign for education and resources to families who feel like there is no other option. Share this blog. Research ways you can help. Tell your friends and coworkers. Spread the word.
"Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving." - JK Rowling. Let's save these kids lives by keeping them with their families.
That sounds absolutely terrible and dreadful, right? It makes you angry that someone would literally throw their own child away or leave them for dead because of their disability. Well it should. It is in no way right, but there is a lot more that goes into abandonment than just religion. I want you to understand what goes through some of these people's heads. Anger is a healthy feeling to have in response to this, but I'm not sure that being angry at the parents is right. Our anger should be directed towards the lack of education, the poverty, and the deeply ingrained culture values that stem from old wives tales and beliefs that are not true.
Can you imagine living in a tent made of roughly sewn together bed sheets and tarps? That is how a huge population of India lives. The "untouchables" are people living in the lowest caste in India. They are often disabled, beggars, and living on next to nothing. In most places in India there is little to no social mobility. Can you imagine living that type of life with no hope of change? Poverty is already such a vicious cycle and almost impossible to escape from. But here there simply isn't an option. You're poor and that is just the way it is. You can't get into a good school (even if you somehow found the money to pay). You can't hold a simple job. These people simply do not have options. Now imagine having a child with a disability. How are you possibly going to care for them? You don't have the money to get them medical care or specialized education. You don't even have the money to feed them. Sometimes it seems like the only choice is abandonment.
Now imagine being a 17-24 year old girl awaiting marriage. You have no say in the matter, as your parents are picking your husband. They decide to pick someone they know and trust from your village. He also happens to be your second cousin. This happens far to often in Indian culture, especially in villages where ancient religion trumps modern education. Most girls have no say in who they marry, and even if they did, would they know not to marry family members? Would they know that the likelihood of having a child with a birth defect, deformity, or disability is alarmingly high? Probably not. Would they even know a single negative effect or risk of marrying a family member? Unfortunately, most people probably have no idea.
One more scenario: imagine having a child with a disability and loving them with everything you had. You look at your child and see that they are perfect. Your child is everything you have ever dreamed of and more. But then you remember that if people in your village find out about your son/daughter, they will shun you. More than likely you will lose your job. You might not be allowed back in your temple. Your other children could be denied education. You look down at your child and realize that they might mean a life living on the streets or in the slums, struggling to obtain food and water. Then you realize that in this culture, the only thing you feel like you can do is abandon them. Hopefully they will be found by someone who can give them the resources they need and you can continue to provide for your family. Imagine the heartbreak and loss in that scenario.
These are some of the reasons kids are abandoned here. And trust me, there are many more. It is a messed up and lost system. A system in desperate need of better education and resources. It is heartbreaking, awful, and sad.
If we ever want to end the orphan epidemic, we cannot solely focus on adoption. Yes, adoption is critically needed. There are over 142 million orphans worldwide. Every single one of those kids needs a family. They by no means all need to be adopted to America or another developed country. Many of them living in other countries would benefit most from being adopted by families in their own country. But if adoption is our sole focus, are we really looking to the root of the problem? Kids will continue to be abandoned. The world is in desperate need of education and resources to aid families. People need support in raising children. If they feel that they cannot care for a child, they need resources to do so. People need to know that help and support is not only out there, but attainable. People need to be educated on how to raise multiple children, children with disabilities, or critical illnesses. They need to be educated on the effects of gendercide, and the value and equality of women. They need to know that every child is worthy of life despite gender, medical condition, ability, or social class.
In order for change to be brought about in the orphan epidemic, people all over the world need to be educated. There needs to be resources in place to aid families who feel like abandonment is the only option. We as well off citizens of our developed and educated countries have to speak up for these people. We need to bring awareness to the root of this epidemic. We need to unite together with a vision and fire to end the abandonment of children. We need to help these families.
Join with me in spreading awareness and understanding of why children are abandoned in other cultures. Help me campaign for education and resources to families who feel like there is no other option. Share this blog. Research ways you can help. Tell your friends and coworkers. Spread the word.
"Every human life is worth the same, and worth saving." - JK Rowling. Let's save these kids lives by keeping them with their families.
