My name is Carrie and I am living in India serving at Sarah's Covenant Homes, an orphanage for abandoned children with physical and developmental disabilities. I am a foster mama to twelve beautiful girls with special needs. They bring me incredible amounts of joy! I feel so blessed that God has called me to live this life.

*The children's blog names (not their real names) are used online to protect their privacy.

"I will not leave you as orphans. I will come to you." John 14:18


Monday, June 30, 2014

Forgetting the American Dream

I won’t normally post blogs two days in a row, but today I just wanted to share what was on my mind. I just finished doing my laundry for the first time in India. Using two small buckets filled with unsanitary water on a porch less than three feet wide, I hand washed each item one by one. And let me tell you - IT WAS HARD. I was out there for nearly two hours profusely sweating in the Indian heat as I scrubbed my clothes with my bare hands. I found a scrub brush (I had absolutely no idea how it was previously used) and used it to scrub any stains out of my clothes. By the time I was finished, I was physically exhausted, dehydrated, and emotionally drained. 

I know a lot of people might read this and think “Wow, that really opens your eyes to how lucky we are to live in America and have these modern comforts.” And I see your point; I really do. It’s sort of like that old phrase “You never know what you have until it’s gone.” That just isn’t what my eyes were opened to. 

Now you might be expecting me to go on some rant about how we in America have way too much and “how can we be living like that when there is so much poverty all over the world?” But that isn’t what was laid on my heart either. 

My eyes were opened to how messed up our attitude is in America. Now I know everyone doesn’t feel like this, but where I am from I hear an awful lot of “We have what we do because we work hard for it.” 

Pushing all political ideologies aside, I think that’s how most Americans think deep down. Conservatives would phrase this belief much different than liberals and Christians much different than Atheists, but deep down I think most Americans believe if you work hard, you become successful both in riches and in pleasure.

It’s the American Dream. 

But I think it’s flawed. 

By stating that those who work hard succeed, we are implying that the unsuccessful (or the poor) don’t work hard. And that is just not the case. 

I see poor people every single day. My apartment is in a poor colony on the edge of town. Every night I see people sleeping outside, some on woven cots and many on the ground. I see entire families living in one roomed huts without power or plumbing. I see children running around naked, playing in fields of trash alongside wild hogs. Across the street from our little neighborhood, there is a slum. Every day I walk past tents made out of ratted pieces of tarp, bedsheets, and towels. There are far more people in that slum than there is room for. 

These people aren’t living in poverty because they don’t work hard. In fact, I think the opposite is true. There is nothing easy about hand washing your own clothes. And that is just a daily chore. Driving a little rickshaw auto around town for 10-12 hours a day making 10 rupees (that’s 16 cents USD) per rider isn’t easy. Leaving your family and the village you’ve lived in your entire life to go work 24/7 at an orphanage as a nurse or ayah isn’t easy. 

Some of these people are considered well off in India. Many of them are not. But compared to what many Americans and people in other developed countries are making, most of them are poor. And let me tell you, it certainly isn’t because they aren’t working hard. 
Now in India there is a caste system and a lot more plays into social mobility. But I won’t go into that right now. There are poor people here in India. I am living alongside some of them. There are poor people in all parts of Asia, all parts of Africa, all parts of South America, all parts of Europe, Australia, and North America. There are people living in poverty all over the world.

And I think if we ever want to end poverty, if we ever want to help those in need, our attitudes need to change. 

We have to stop giving to charity or dropping an envelope in the church offering plate with the thought “I’m glad I can help those who are less fortunate.” Whether you’re Christian, Buddhist, Muslim, Jewish, Agnostic, Atheist, or any religion, whether you are conservative, liberal, or in between, you have to get rid of these notions we have about the poor. You have to quit thinking that the poor are poor because they don’t work hard. You have to forget the American Dream.

Because the American Dream doesn’t always work. Some people work harder than I ever have in my life yet they can’t escape the cycle of poverty. They can’t afford a college education to get a good job. They were raised in the ghettos or slums and never got the chance to get out. That happens here in India, it happens in Africa, it happens on the streets in Europe and on the streets of your hometown in America. 

Poverty happens everywhere. We are never going to be able to end it unless our attitudes start to change. So stop thinking “Man are we blessed/lucky/fortunate to have what we do.” Stop thinking “I’m proud that I’ve worked hard so that my family can have a comfortable life.” 

Acknowledge that people living in poverty work just as hard as we do. Acknowledge that some people living in poverty work harder than we do. Get to know someone living in poverty and form a relationship with them. Stop giving out of pity and guilt and start giving to help out a new friend, an entire family, an unseen face, an orphan oversees, just give to someone in need. But don’t stop there. Don’t give and then check “helping end poverty” off your list. Form relationships with people in your community. Read blogs of people living oversees and find ways to help their communities. Listen to the needs of the poor and meet them. Instead of giving someone $20, help them fill out a job application. 

I firmly believe that ending poverty is possible. But it isn’t going to happen until the attitudes of the rich change. My prayer for you is this: 


May your eyes be opened to people struggling everywhere. May you become aware of needs in your own backyard and across the world. May your attitude change and may you lose sight of living the American Dream. May your eyes be opened to all of those working hard and still living in poverty. May you be led to form relationships with them. May we all band together, the rich, the poor, and the in between to put an end to poverty.

Sunday, June 29, 2014

To Be Loved Is To Be Known: Naomi

Life in India is good. Really, really crazy but good. I've been with my girls for over a week now. It has been one of the hardest weeks of my life, but also one of the greatest. Adjusting to the culture here is hard. I live in a small town (on India standards - it feels fairly large to me) in Southern India where the culture is very conservative and traditional. I've been learning a lot about how to live here and assimilate.

For instance, I already knew women had to wear pants every day, but I learned a few days ago that if your pants have drawstrings that are hanging down or visible, it is extremely immodest. Who knew? The past week has been filled with learning and adjusting to this radically different culture. And I am sure that will continue the entire time I am here. :)

I've been learning a lot about my girls this week as well. I've really just been trying to spend time with them and get to know their personalities, wants, needs, what upsets them, what makes them giggle, anything and everything. I've also just spent a great deal of time cuddling with them, giving them lots and lots of kisses, and just loving on them.

And so in this blog post I wanted to introduce you to my biggest cuddle bug and the girl who has really stolen my heart this past week, Naomi.


Out of the six I met last summer, I knew Naomi the least. I just had a really hard time connecting with her last summer. But oh how I love her. Naomi brings so much silliness and laughter into my life. Every day as she gets home from school, she is the first one up the stairs and in our apartment. As she walks in I great her with a "Heyyy Naomi! School good, ah?" To which she responds with the biggest grin and an Indian head bobble (meaning yes). Then she runs into my open arms and gives me the biggest hug! We sit there cuddling for a minute as her younger sisters make it up the stairs and inside. 

Naomi doesn't speak any English, but she has her own way of communicating. She has a different face that she makes for several emotions. My favorite is when she thinks something is weird or funny. She'll point with her whole hand to whatever she finds unusual and make these big wide puppy dog eyes with her lips pursed. Sometimes if she thinks something is really funny, she'll add a couple eyebrow raises in there. That one never fails to get me laughing. 

Naomi is alert and very aware of her surroundings. She makes sure I don't miss out on anything that is going on. She'll run up to me, tap me on the arm, and motion to whatever is going on. If she thinks something is particularly interesting, she will continue to grab my attention and make sure I am just as intrigued as she is. 

This girl has become my shadow and honestly, I love it. Anytime I stand up to walk from one room to the next, Naomi hops up and accompanies me. She hugs on my arm and just giggles as I do whatever needs to be done. 

Naomi loves the last hour before bedtime more than anything else. During that time the girls and I just sit around the living room or on the porch and cuddle. I usually turn on some music as we just relax and unwind. Naomi is always in my lap or leaning on my side. She always has this huge smile on her face. Sometimes she is quiet and sometimes she is babbling away. I don't understand what she is saying as it is all in Telugu and I think a lot of it is unintelligible Telugu anyway. But in a way, I do know. She is happy. Naomi has someone here who loves her unconditionally and she loves me back. She is excited she has a mama to cuddle with and to talk to. Naomi loves being loved. 



There is a poem some of my friends used to love and recite. The main line in the poem says this:

"For to be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known."

Naomi just needed to be known. The deepest, most inward parts of her desire to be known. For to be known is to be loved. And if she is loved, then she is known. 

I love Naomi more than I can say. She is my cuddle bug and my silly girl. She is known by me. She is loved by me. But only because the Father first loved me. She is known by our Father and He loves her. He loves her so, so very much.

I know the Lord has great plans for Naomi. I know He will be with her, loving her and knowing her no matter where she goes. She needs a family. There isn't one pursuing her right now and she desperately needs a forever family who will love her unconditionally. Pray for my sweet Naomi. If you have ever considered adopting, consider pursuing her. Pass her story onto friends and family. Make this girl known. Let the world know of her and love her. 

I pray that her forever family is out there and that they see this post. Naomi has so much love to give. All she wants is to be loved in return. 

If you want to join in on knowing her and loving her right now, you (or you and a group) can sponsor her. Our kids are sponsored at $200 a month to cover the cost of their food, clothing, rent, water, utilities, everything. Since Naomi goes to school, she also has a $50 a month school sponsorship which covers all of her school fees, books, supplies, transportation, and uniform. 

You can sponsor Naomi by clicking this link and following the steps outlined for you. You can choose to complete her sponsorship in full, in half ($100), or partially ($40). You and your family, Sunday school class, coworkers, friends, or whoever could go in together to get my girl sponsored. 

To be known is to be loved, and to be loved is to be known. I love you sweet Naomi.


Tuesday, June 24, 2014

Finding Home



I'm here! I am finally at my Indian home. But it doesn't feel like home to me. I feel like a stranger to this whole thing. Being a mom, the culture, the heat with no a/c, the food, the people, everything. I want to be completely honest in this blog, so you all can be praying for me and my girls. I want you to know exactly how I am feeling.

And it is hard. I knew it was going to be hard, but I don't think anything could have fully prepared me for this. I was sick my whole first day in Ongole. I tried to spend time with my girls in spurts here and there but my body just couldn't handle it. It is HOT here. Today the temperature was 108 without adding the humidity. (Ongole is only a few miles from the beach, so it is really humid.) Indian food is really spicy and far different than what I am used to. My girls don't speak very much English, so communication is hard. I think most of them understand quite a bit, but they can't speak it back. My ayah who lives with us speaks zero English and yells Telugu at me a lot to which I am probably returning a blank stare.

Honestly, I have probably spent more of my alone time crying than anything else. But as I prayed today, God really spoke to me.

He never said this was going to be easy. Following Jesus isn't easy. Jesus didn't call me to live an easy life in America. He called me to hard things. He called me to India. He called me to work with special needs orphans. He called me to this life. He called me to this very moment. He called me to seek His face in India.

And so, here I am. Trying to find home. For every second I miss my home in America, I pray and ask God to reveal home for me here. For every second I wish I was living my usual easy life, God reminds me that He doesn't call us to easy things. Furthering the Kingdom isn't easy. Truly following Jesus isn't easy. For every tear I shed, God brings me immeasurably more joy.

I love my girls. I love them more than I have ever loved anything else on this earth. And I don't want to be anywhere else. Finding home in India is hard, and sometimes I feel like my heart is in two places. But God has me here and my heart longs to be one with His.

He loves my girls unconditionally and relentlessly and He needs someone here on earth to show them that. So Here I am. Lord send me.

I'll be posting more and more about my girls over the next few weeks, but here is an introduction! :)


Chelsea is my youngest and she's a cutie pie. I couldn't get her to smile in this picture, but her smile is radiant. Chelsea loves to run outside our apartment door and hide around the corner until I find her. Then she's all giggles as I shower her with love and kisses.


Angel wasn't too sure how she felt about me our first day, but I think she's decided she likes me now. :) She's a little stinker sometimes and likes to get into trouble. Then when she's in time out, she tries to win you over with that dazzling smile of hers. She really is a good leader to the other little ones though. Even when she is getting in to trouble, she makes sure none of her sisters miss out on the fun.


Heidi won't smile for pictures, but she is all smiles for me. Today she followed me around every second always giggling when I would bend down to talk to her. Heidi is quite the little trickster as well!


Paula is my 110% total preteen. Sometimes she doesn't want anything to do with the rest of us, but most of the time she is the best big sister there ever was! Paula can't walk, but that doesn't stop her from helping all her other sisters with their mobility challenges. She is constantly by Stephanie's side helping her with things she cannot see. 


Leah is for sure my firecracker. She is wild and feisty and marches to the beat of her own drum. She only speaks Hindi while the rest of my girls speak Telugu, so communication is sometimes a challenge. She is very bright though and has already learned many nonverbal cues to communicate. We're working on English skills as well. :)


Stephanie reminds me a lot of the verse from 1 Peter 3:4 that says "it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight." Steph definitely has a gentle and quiet spirit. Some of that is due to lack of self confidence and fear because of her past. But I also think some of it is just who she is. Steph always sits alone off to the side away from her sisters. But when I come to her she reaches for my hand and says "Sing a song sister". Her voice is so quiet that you sometimes have to strain to hear her, but when you listen to her sing it is beautiful.


Naomi is silly and mischievous. She has a really special bond with both Heidi and Leah and plays well with them both. She is really curious and will get into absolutely anything and everything. She is really lovable and loves hugs and kisses!

This is my family. We are each very different and come from our own unique places, but we are a family. As hard as life is in India, I thank God every second that he brought me here.


Tuesday, June 17, 2014

On my way!

And I'm off! I am writing this as I sit in the Chicago airport awaiting my next flight to London. From there I will fly to Hyderabad, India. When I arrive it will be early Thursday morning India time. I'll spend some time in Hyderabad resting and playing with the SCH kids living there. A couple foster families along with all our babies live in Hyderabad. Then I will hop on an overnight bus to Ongole where I will finally be reunited with my girls! :)

While I am unbelievably excited and ready to be in India, saying goodbye was hard. I cried in the Knoxville airport as I said goodbye to my closest friends and family. But as the plane was taking off, God just filled my heart with this huge peace. India is where I am supposed to be right now. This is where God is calling me. I'll miss my friends and family so much it hurts, but the Lord is my great Comforter. He lives in me and will give me the strength, courage, peace, joy, patience, and whatever else I need each and every day.

So, goodbye America. Goodbye cheeseburgers, steak, and bacon. Goodbye all my wonderful, wonderful friends, family, and church family. I will miss you all greatly but God has amazing things planned.

It's going to be wild. It's going to be great. It's going to be full of Him.

"May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen."












Tuesday, June 3, 2014

Changes

I am leaving for India two weeks from today. My flight ended up being booked for a few days later than I had originally intended, so I will be leaving on the 17th!

As I prepare to hop on the plane, so many things have been racing through my mind. Am I really ready to become a foster mom to seven girls with disabilities? Am I really ready to leave my home and everyone I know? As soon as I start to worry God gives me peace.

Yes, I am ready. The Lord has been preparing me for this all my life. I've loved people with disabilities since I was in kindergarten. God sent me to HVA for high school where there was a phenomenal Special Ed program. I learned so much from Mr. Lee and his staff. I worked at Camp Wesley Woods for three summers where I got to live with kids 24/7 and show them the love of God. I had a wonderful daycare job at Starting Points Childcare where I became a pro potty trainer. God has been preparing me in countless ways for years.

A lot of things regarding my time in India have changed over the past couple weeks. I am now going to be fostering 7 instead of 6! Leah just came to SCH and was added to our foster family a couple weeks ago. From what I know about her, she sounds a whole lot like my friend Margarita which makes me really excited!

Marla (my girls' current foster mom) got really sick and is having to leave early. Join me in praying for her health and her emotional/spiritual well being. This means when I get to India, I'll hit the ground running and dive straight into fostering on my own. 

I recently found out that we are getting another foster mom at SCH who will be partnering with me and living beside me. I could not be more excited! Abby will be arriving at the beginning of August and she will be fostering the other young school girls. Abby and I have been talking quite a bit and I am so thankful I will have someone to walk through life with in India. 

I've been praying for a long time that God would send a foster mom for these girls and that God would give me a best friend to do life with. I desperately wanted someone to talk to, do Bible studies with, and basically be my best friend in India. 

Abby and I have already decided we are going to be best buds which makes me really excited! I am about to leave for Nashville where I'll visiting a couple high school and college friends and also meet Abby in person! Tomorrow (Wednesday) Abby will arrive in Nashville on the megabus and we will have a "12 hour date" during which we will get to know each other, talk about SCH and our kids, pray together and just start to build a strong relationship before we're together in India. 

I am going to post a couple more blogs before I leave, then I'll finally be in India! And you can start following this great adventure God is leading Heidi, Angel, Chelsea, Leah, Paula, Naomi, Stephanie, and myself on. :)